The Right Anger

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This is especially true for people with whom you are trying to co-create, like colleagues. It is a simple and deceptive mind game. And I am tired of it.


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And recently, when I expressed my frustration about the person that I was angry with to a friend, she simply said:. I have seen you be compassionate before.

Finding The Right Anger Management Therapist

You have no reason not to be compassionate now. That was it. That was all I needed. From one moment to the next I realized the truth of what she said and could no longer feel anger for that person, but instead felt only love. That sounds almost flippant, I know. But I also realized through it how incredibly insubstantial anger really is. And when you practice, and I have had a lot of practice, anger can be lifted from you in a microsecond.

When we are in it, it can seem so thick we can cut it like a knife. But when we are able to realize our own game we are playing through being angry, we can suddenly laugh about ourselves again. And once we can do that, everything becomes light and workable once more. So, anger can make us stuck.

Anger Management At Work - Aristotle's Way

And when you are angry it not an indication that something is amiss with the world. It is an indication that something is amiss with YOU. It is not that you do not have a right to your feelings. It is that you are betraying yourself when you are telling yourself you have right to be angry. You are suddenly two years old again and you are missing something that you feel you really really need but no one can give you.

The only one that suffers from that, is you. And in ways that you cannot even begin to imagine…. So, if you are angry all the time, you must first understand that situation: That this is your anger and has no reality or validity to it, even if, and you always do, believe it does.

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Anger Management At Work - Aristotle's Way

And second: You must learn to forgive. Forgive others, forgive yourself, forgive the unforgivable. How do you do that? It is quite simple to get started.

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Go see this movie called The Light Between Oceans It is a bit of a romantic girlie movie, and if like me you have a limited tolerance for such things, just focus on the pretty landscapes or actresses or both until the story gets moving. See the movie, start there, then come back and tell us what you have learned.

And remember what I said next time you are angry: You do not have a right to be angry. You must turn within and examine what you are getting out of it.


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Think of anger as your own personal police force or sheriff, riding into town when injustice has been done. The sheriff sends out police bulletins to the effect of, "Hey, that's not right. That's not how we do business around here. There's really no way to not get angry.

But if he's showing up for the right reasons, and if he deals with the situation in the right way, then getting angry can be good for you. If he sits down with the perp and has a productive conversation about how to solve the problem, then anger is doing its job. On the other hand, if you've got a reckless vigilante who shoots every time he gets angry, or a cowardly police academy dropout that can't even fire a gun, then anger is not very productive. As with chocolate cake, anger has to be regulated with moderation. Confused by all this talk of police officers and chocolate cake?

Well, check out the next page, where we'll look at some concrete examples of how anger can be a positive force. Can getting angry be good for you? Anger doesn't seem like a positive emotion when everyone is upset. See more emotion pictures. Learn More " ".